What some parents don’t know, however, is that there are some bad ways to celebrate your child’s success. By making these types of mistakes, you can put unnecessary pressure on your child or make them afraid of failing in the future. Instead, you want your celebrations and praise to give your child more confidence and encourage them to work and accomplish even more. Here are some important tips to keep in mind to make sure that you are celebrating your child’s success in a healthy and happy way.
Don’t Put Down Others
If your child has recently been very successful, that means there are probably other kids who were less successful. While praising your child, it’s important not to put other children down, such as those who lost the big soccer game or those who got a lower score on the final test. You don’t want to teach your child to be arrogant or nasty when they succeed; you want to teach them to be humble and gracious. Avoid making comparisons, and just focus on praising your child individually.
Celebrate Results AND Effort
Your child will not win every game or ace every exam, but as long as he is trying his best, you should support and congratulate him. This is one of the best ways to teach your child the value of hard work and perseverance. One day your child may face an opponent who is more talented in soccer, and it’s important that you celebrate his effort whether he wins or loses. Don’t put all the emphasis on results, and remember to stress the importance of doing things the right way and doing your best.
Have a Broad and Personal Definition of Success
As a parent, it’s important not to define success narrowly, as the score of a single game or a final grade in one class. Not only will this put too much pressure on your child, but it will also prevent you from seeing all the other great things your child accomplishes as he learns and grows up. Maybe your child didn’t win the championship, but he improved dramatically during the season. Even if your child didn’t play very well, he might have made one or two great plays, or maybe he did a great job supporting and celebrating his teammate’s success. There is more than one way to define success, and make sure you are noticing how your child is finding success in his own way.
Don’t Make Success a Requirement for Love and Affection
One of the worst ways you can celebrate success is to only show your love and pride during those moments after a big victory. You don’t have to praise your child for every little thing, but your love and support should be unconditional. Your son or daughter should know that you are in his corner win or lose and that you care more about him than the outcome of the game or the score on the test. Only praising your child when he’s the winner is cruel, and it puts too much pressure on him. Remember to be proud of your child first, and his accomplishments second.