Your Child’s Coach is NOT Always Right…So What do You Do When He’s Wrong?

Your Child’s Coach is NOT Always Right…So What do You Do When He’s Wrong?

Your child’s coach may be a very nice guy. Or he could be a total jerk, like the coaches typified in the Bad Parents Movie.

Either way, there will be times when you may think he or she is totally wrong,  Maybe you don’t agree with his playing time practices, his offensive or defensive strategy, or even the way he talks to the kids. In your opinion, he or she is wrong, plain and simple.

So what do you do when a coach–in your opinion–is wrong?

I’ve seen this handled in many ways. Every situation is different and there’s really not one way to handle a “wrong coach”. But I have some thoughts that might help you deal with the situation the next time it comes up.

Your Child’s Coach is Not the Enemy

You may not like him. You may not agree with his coaching philosophy. But he is doing you a service by giving his time to coach your child. Don’t treat him as the enemy.  If you don’t like what he does, try to be a waffle-brain (separating thoughts into different squares like waffles) and separate his strategies from him as a person. That way you can be nice to him as a person, even if you don’t like the way he coaches.

Your Child’s Coach is Human

He will make mistakes.  The problem is, that as a leader he is held to a higher standard–which he should be. However, sometimes parents expect better behavior from coaches than they do of themselves. Give grace for his mistakes. Hopefully he’s returning the favor for yours.

Your Child’s Coach Needs Honest Communication

When you have a disagreement with the coach, the best way to handle it is to go right to the source. Not to your child, the other parents, or even the administrator. Give Coach the courtesy of calm, honest communication. Express your concerns and make an effort to work together with him for the good of the team.

Your Child’s Coach Will Not Be Around Forever

As long as the coach is not mistreating players or setting a bad moral example, you may just have to live with the fact that you do not agree with him. I’m not saying he’s right; I’m saying that you may have to agree to disagree until the season is over and recognize that the time will come for your child to move on to another coach and team.

Your Child’s Coach Should Not Be Bashed

Perhaps you think your child’s coach is just plain wrong about something. If so, what do you say to your kids? To other parents? Badmouthing a coach in front of players and other parents will not change his behavior; it will only stir up dissension and discontent. Bashing a coach does not resolve the situation.

Your Child’s Coach May Not Be Right, But He May Not Be Wrong Either

It may boil down to the fact that you don’t like the way he does things. And quite honestly, there may not be much you can do about that, except to agree to disagree agreeably.

It just may be that he thinks you are the one who’s wrong. Use this as an opportunity to model for your child how to resolve conflict and get along with people who don’t do the things the way we think they should be done.


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1 comment

I am sorry. Though many of these mindsets hold truths. This is doing more damge than good. Do I agree with all of them, absolutely. However this is completely sweeping under the rug that coaches who are bad leaders should just be cowtailed by the parents because they give their time. There are some coaches that get paid for their coaching, albeit it’s nothing substantial, we parents pay for a service for our children to be coached and coached well. With integrity and grace, patience and a moral compass. When those lines are crossed it’s also okay for us as parents to teach our children the difference between empathetic tolerance and disrespect.


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